He's Gone | Al-Fatihah

Assalamualaikum semua :')

.

I want him.
But he's gone.

Khamis
02.11.2016
6.11 am
•Innalillahiwainnailaihiroojiun•

Allah lebih menyayanginya :')

Melihat jenazah yang tenang buat aku bertambah sedih.
Dia kuat.
Kuat melawan sakitnya.
Sampai saat hembusan nafas terakhirnya.

Orang tak tahu apa, bolehlah bercakap besar.
Kata itu ini.
Tapi aku tahu apa yang dia lalui.
Aku lihat dengan mata kepala sendiri.

Rupa-rupanya rungutannya untuk pulang ke rumah,
Adalah mesej bahawa dia ingin 'dijemput' dan 'pulang' ketika berada di rumah.
Bersama isteri, anak-anak serta cucu-cucunya.
Alhamdulillah, terlaksana :')

I am lost.
Rasa tak kuat.

Masih terngiang-ngiang pesanannya setahun yang lepas;
"Mung buatlah, asal mung sihat." -Him
I will, tokki :')

Dan masih terngiang-ngiang pesanannya kepada emakku sehari sebelum dia 'pergi';
"Mung jaga mok (tok) molek."
She will, tokki.
We will :')

:') < Ini adalah senyuman
Tapi hakikatnya aku menaip coretan ini dengan linangan air mata dan esakan.

Nampak mudah.
Tapi, hakikatnya susah!

Menerima pemergian itu mudah.
Tapi, menerima kehilangan itu tidak semudah yang disangka.
Perit!

He's my one and only.
And now, he's gone.
Gone to the right place.
Gone to the best place.
Meeting his Creator.
Meeting the Almighty.
After all of the hard times he's gone through.

I pray for good.
We pray for good.
Let's pray for good.

*****

Me: Tokki, ngucap.
Tokki: ...
Me: Tokki ikut ambe, eyh?
Tokki: ...
Me: Asyhadualla ilaa hailallah
Tokki: Asyhadualla ilaa hailallah
Me: Wa asyhaduanna muhammadarrosulullah (*nada sebak tahan nangis)
Tokki: Wa asyhaduanna muhammadarrosulullah

*****

After this,
No more his voice.
After this,
No need to visit him at the hospital.
After this,
No need to think about his illness.
After this,
No more tokki.
After this,
No need to worry about him.
After this,
No need to play truant cuz of him.
After this,
No more...

*********

First call; "Tokki nazak."

A few minutes later,

Second call; "Tokki takdok doh."

INNALILLAHIWAINNAILAIHIROOJIUN.

He's gone.
He's gone for good.
Yet, I still feel like he's still here.
Still with me.

*****

Tokki,
Although I have no chance;
To see you again.
To see your face again.
To hear your voice again.
In flesh and blood.
But it's OK.
Because you'll always in my mind.
And the memories..
Will always be remembered.

*****

Mungkinkah terputus di tengah jalan
Mungkinkah terlerai tanpa ikatan.
Segalanya ketentuan Tuhan....

*****

Bye, tokki.
Rest in peace :')

*****

Semoga roh-nya dicucuri rahmat Dia Yang Maha Esa, diringankan azab kubur, dipermudahkan segala urusan di alam barzakh dan ditempatkan di galangan orang-orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh. Al-Fatihah!

.

Thanks for reading this entry ^_^

.

My tokki during he was admitted to the ward at Hospital Sultanah Nur Zahirah (HSNZ).